Swine Flu Outbreak!

I've been busy for the past few days preparing for my Mom's Birthday Party, so I have been unable to post anything. Since then, I've noticed news clippings that appear to look like the End of the World or the beginning of a best-selling help guide titled "How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse". Either way, it's really cool. But all kidding aside, let's look at how we're all going to die.

First a virus is an infectious agent that is (evil and...) not alive, unlike bacteria, which are (also evil and...) basically a microscopic "animal" that is alive. What that means is that viruses are a pain in the ass to health care workers. Think about it. How do you kill something that isn't alive? That is why antibiotics work on bacteria but not viruses.



Typically, you just need to let a virus "run it's course". What that means is that you get really sick, then your body builds up antibodies to fight it off, then you get better unless you are really old or really young. There are anti-viral medications, but these medicines do not actually kill the virus, they just stall the development of the infection. So basically your body is still in charge with developing an immune response and fighting off the infection. The anti-viral medication just gives it some "bonus time" to do so.

Ok. You may be asking, "So what is the big deal anyway? The flu is the flu, right?" Well... just read below.


How to get a Bad-Ass Flu Strain in 3 Easy Steps!

Step 1: First, have a virulent flu strain in a species population. Let's use the aforementioned swine flu as an example.

Step 2: Next, have said flu strain mutate so that it can now spread between swine and humans, instead of the usual same species spreading. Not really a problem for anyone unless they spend a lot of time in close quarters with their livestock.

Step 3: Finally, have said flu strain mutate again so that it can now spread from human to human and voila. Swine Flu Outbreak '09.


The Spanish Flu which spread across the world in the late 1910's is an example of a virus that made it to step 3. Even though viruses don't normally make it that far, when they do (like the Spanish Flu) weird shit starts happening that isn't suppose to. Just look at the headlines of newspapers from the time of that era and you will see what I mean. "Up to 100 million people dead from the flu!" - "20 - 40 year old adults are the bulk of the deaths from the flu!" - "Women now have the right to vote!" It's horrifying. I personally remember hearing the CDC (Center for Disease Control) state a few years back during the SARS scare that as long as a flu strain doesn't make it to Step 3, we'll be ok. Well, what now? Guess I will have to go to Hatley's and bunker down for the next decade or so. As least I'll be safe from the zombies.



Ok. So far the Zombie fl... I'm sorry... the Swine Flu could possibly kick our ass. You may think there is still hope? "Can't we just pass out vaccines to make us all immune?", you may ask. Well not exactly. Yes, every year there is a flu vaccine available for the upcoming flu season. That is only because it is harvested months in advance from chicken eggs. This particular strain appeared out of nowhere (nowhere meaning Mexico City) and even if we could cultivate some strains of it for vaccines, it would still take several weeks if not months to synthesize vaccines and even then the supplies would be severely limited (This is my own professional opinion - and by professional, I mean fuck off!). *UPDATE* I'm guessing that there is really nothing we can do except hope that this turns out to be a "scare" and not a Pandemic. Other than that, it will be zombie hunting season. YEE-HAW!